


Red Memory, Blue Currently

by lovedbysatan



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Mush, Hideyoshi Nagachika - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, Oneshot Kaneki Ken, tokyo ghoul - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3981337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovedbysatan/pseuds/lovedbysatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki is suffering from PTSD and only has one person there to pull him back to reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Memory, Blue Currently

The light fluttering in through the window banished the darkness from my bedroom. I could feel the footsteps of children running through the ceiling. With each bound the room shook, my body stirred, and my eye twitched. But it wasn’t annoying. I didn’t mind the children. They were very energetic and extroverted children. Always smiling, always laughing, always playing. They didn't know about what was happening to children 2000 miles away in another country, they didn't care. I thought that it was a good life. Ignorance is ok, we can’t help it. It’s a part of who we are.

My thoughts wandered away from blissful sleep and focused on the face that lie before of me. I lifted my hands through the covers and moved to touch their cheek. As I ran my hand down from below their eyes towards their lips, I felt nothing. Their tan skin contrasted with mine of ivory scars. With each slow stroke, I brought life to the face before me. Their waking eyes shone like the sky. With each passing second their eye color shifted from a soft coffee to a deep warming seal brown. Their gentle smile was enough to brighten my bitter soul. I was at peace. 

We sat up in the bed. Together, in unison. They stretched their arms high into the air, mine spread in front of me. I turned towards them after hearing a sound. I shook my head. I didn’t understand. They spoke again. This time I answered, “No, I don’t mind their running around in the morning. I mean, we are going to adopt some day, aren’t we?” They smiled at me. They said something again. I didn't understand them. All I could hear was the thumping. The constant sound of children playing. Over, and over. Never ending. Never starting.

There was a flash of light and a loud ringing. My world started spinning. Flickering in and out. Almost like when you lose TV service during a storm and you're fighting to continue watching the news. The sound went on, then off. I could hear segments of words. Junk sentences. “Are... Hear m... Ca... Corpr... Cor...”. I could hear that over and over. Repeating endlessly. A seemingly incomprehensible collection of sounds, and the ever so rare word.  


The background was a dizzying labyrinth of white, almost like glass refracting light. The sky was blue, but scarred with a single streak of black. The air was spicy on my skin. Dirt and dust flew through the air, almost as if gale-force winds were being pushed down onto me. My hair flapped around before my eyes. My hands burned red wet. 

Someone appeared above me. A man... maybe. I couldn't see their face, but I knew them. There was something familiar about them, almost calming. Their mouth was moving, but I didn't hear anything. Lips quivering and hands shaking, they dug through a bag. “You’ll be... You’ll... Alright...”. Their voice was calming. They seemed composed, but I knew. I felt a different wet on my face. This one was blue, not red. Suddenly agony tore at my hands, almost as if the skin was being peeled away. There was something cold being put on them. My arms felt like hot metal being dunked in cold water. Sizzling was the only sensation now.  


My breathing became rapid. Staggered. Broken. I was choking, I couldn't breathe. My body went limp, and my sight dark. I felt something underneath me shift. It was vibrating. I couldn’t understand what I was hearing. “He’s fla-ing... I nee... urry...”. There it was again, the calming voice. The vibrating became more powerful with each passing second. The world became louder. All I could hear now was humming. A constant buzz that originated above me. The closer I got to the sound the winds got stronger, the vibrating intensified, the sound became more deafening. I was scared. I felt something press on my chest, a repeated pressure just below my sternum. More blue wetness on my face. I went to reach out at it with my hands, but I felt nothing. There was nothing. I was alone.

I felt pressure on me. It was firm, yet somehow soft and gentle. Warm callouses and tiny bones wormed into my skin, relaxing the tense muscles of my back. Hands. There were hands on my back. These hand slowly moved from my shoulders to my sides, counting each rib as they moved further from my armpits. The hands slid along the last rib to the bottom of my sternum and pulled. They pulled me close. My back connected with a larger flat surface. It was strong and dense, but comforting. I was engulfed by warmth. My breathing slowed from short raspy breaths to long inhales followed by long exhales. The surface behind me was breathing this way too. Warm air blew against the nape of my neck with each exhale, grounding me to this time. Each inhale pushed against my back opening up my ribcage, grounding me to this place. The arms wrapped around my body grounded me to this person. I could hear sounds in the distance. Once again I was at peace. I could feel, I wasn't alone. 

“98, 99, 100,” Their voice said, calm, collected, calculated, but crying. I turned to look at them, and was received by a warm smile. “Welcome home” they whimpered. I didn’t know I had gone anywhere. I didn’t know where I was, why I was here and not there. My eyes darted around the room. I was home. My books were still in the right corner of the room above my desk, their jacket was hanging on my chair. My shoes were on the floor to my right, theirs to the left. Our window was slightly open. Our ceiling fan was spinning slightly. I was home, but why did that surprise me.

I turned back towards them and asked where I had gone. They responded with an answer that had clearly been practiced, “You didn’t go anywhere, physically. But your mind went, well, somewhere.” I wanted to ask what they meant, but I knew that the questions were hurting them. Instead I said thank you. I looked towards the window and exhaled loudly. I was home. Not there. It was over. I’d never have to go back. 

I rolled back into bed and pulled the covers to below my chin. Maneuvering beneath them I moved in close. Their chest was against my back. Their mouth against my hair. Thank you I said, blue running down my face. “You’re welcome,” they whispered back.

My hands were in their hands. I couldn’t feel a single callus on their palm, nor one of the many bones of their knuckles. I didn’t feel anything. But I trusted them. I knew that they were there. He never left me. I vowed to not leave him. He had accepted me. I didn’t have to hide anymore. I wasn’t alone. Not anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, it means so much to me!!!!


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